23. JashinistExperience - Extreme Frusteration

I am having such bad luck. This is the fourth time I've tried to write this journal. I accidentally hit the "cancel" button when I wrote this the first time and that erased everything last night. I was too tired to rewrite it so I went to sleep. Three times today I've written this again and something else has gone wrong. I'd press the back button to erase a word and the computer would take me to the previous page I was on and delete everything I'd written. The other time, I closed my laptop because I wasn't done the journal while the "enter text" screen was up. I go to get back on and a window pops up saying something about needing to close my open programs, so I lost it again. The final time was my fault because I was so frustrated I accidentally clicked the cancel button again as opposed to the OK button

The cheery on top is that I woke up feeling sick. I've been sneezing and coughing all day, not to mention I have a sore throat - and I still went to school. I'm having a bad day. These recent events have made me decide to just combine yesterday's journal and today's journal in one. I'll be very angry if something happens again.

Yesterday I added more to the youtube scripts I'm writing. I want to create five scripts before I record my first video. The reason is that it takes a day or two for me to write a script. If I recorded a script directly after making it, viewers would have to wait a day or two for me to write another script. If I finish five scripts first, I can write new scripts throughout the day without rushing to get them done for the same day. So far I have an introductory to Jashinism, as well as a script for Jashinism VS Hidanism.

I'm also excited about tomorrow because I'm going to be releasing the first issue of Jashinists In Reality. It might not be that great to start with, but when more people join it will get better. I'm still excited about it. If you ever have any questions you would like answered, feel free to leave message in the comments.

I've been given a suggestion to write about why I refuse to conform to today's Jashinists. No matter which website I go on there are all these contradictions to their own sets of rules. Someone didn't think things through thorough enough, which is why I created the commandments essay -- to point these things out to people. It doesn't matter how many arguments I get into over my essay, my points still remain the same and absolutely no one has been able to give me solid reasons as to why they think I'm the one incorrect or misinformed. It doesn't help that so many Jashinists are really young and are unable to debate appropriately because they lack the academic skills that more mature (farther along in life) Jashinists acquire. It's very frustrating and a waste of my time, which is why I tend to stop responding since I have more important things to do.

I tried meditating before I went to bed last night. I ended up falling asleep and I don't even remember what the meditation was about. I was up pretty late last night. I watched Batman: The Dark Knight for the first time. The idea of self-sacrifice (not suicide) is very inspiring.